Hell On Earth

On certain days and certain nights there’s more to be ashamed of than just my selfishness and subtle words that cling, and bore, and irritate, hoping to leave them dead.

I caught her like a disease, in my heart but also in my head.  

Changed my perspective on things. I hoped for a better world. I hoped for happiness. Trying my hardest perceive others more than they could perceive me. Interested in only one thing. Trying to relieve this stress, a failure I’ve been with no chance to test out my ideas, my inhibitions became a memory. 

And then…

She caught me like a disease, identified and painfully deceived.

Her clinical treatment worked better than mine. I’m left prejudiced, bitter, and sore. The gates to reverence have opened once more and I’m getting closer day by day to just walking right on through. Pushed forward by inspiration I perpetuate a change. Will I follow through, or remain trapped in my subversive mindset?

And Then There Was One

So I'm by myself again.

It's even easier to get used to this time.

Revisiting this current state of mind has kept me from going blind.

I'm alive and well, I'm not so well.

I need a haircut.

Goodnight.

I am the morning, cold and anew
The wake of the day leaves you confused

just terrible
):

For once I'm actually not tired after school. This is a really surprising day.

In other news...

Mike Tyson's daughter died on a treadmill

That's just terrible

):

....Sundays

Lmao


I want this


I think on halloween I'm gonna be him

Brilliant!


I doubt I'm the first to ever come up with that idea

ever

I usually don't make a fuss about things like this but every time I bite one of these things i have a micro-orgasm in my mouth

Word of Mouth

I recently decided to become a vegetarian again. So far it's been working out a lot better than previous attempts, but I've also been eating more. IDK what to do with myself at times. I'm starting to run again as well, I'd like to see how long that lasts; my biggest problem is commitment and I've found others to have this same problem as an equal epidemic burdening their lives. I say F#@K THAT. As of today I'm keeping commitments; tired of failing; tired of lying...to myself.

Seeing as how I was a huge fuck up the past 2 years, next year I'm going to have to work omega hard just to graduate. It's not like this is something I'm incapable of doing it's just that I'm lazy and as stated previously suck at keeping myself committed to a task.


My internet is constantly turning on and off and it's really pissing me off.

This past weekend made me realize exactly how different people have extremely different philosophies on life . Well, I shouldn't say made me realize, I've though and pondered on these things before but it was just reintroduced into my mind due to an unexpected experience. Whilst hanging out with friends all night on Saturday some guy we were chilling with randomly sliced some other guys wrist for no reason while a fight was going on. I mean, I was baffled as towards how in any way this behavior could be accepted by anyone from any walk of life. Godforbid it was me who got sliced, I would be in jail right now for the amount of carnage that would have resulted due to my own perception of justice. When it comes to the THUG LIFE, you've got to wonder if behind the media that loves to glamorize this lifestyle, if they even realize that...things are real out here. Shit happens and has been happening and shit is fucked up bad. The liberal in me really couldn't stand for such actions, but the slacker and the realist in me balanced my actions and ultimately led me to do nothing that I would possibly regret later. And whats surreal is how nice things are behind the action.

As I continue to experience life more and more I've noticed my reactions to certain things have changed and it's all a fundamental example of a quote I heard one which states

"You can get used to anything?"

I'm not sure exactly who it was that said this but it's stuck in my head and it's made me think constantly about how much my ideologies on almost every subject have changed. From basics like family and friends to more trivial things like hobbies, as well as positions on sex, drugs, and all that jazz.

I wonder how other people's thoughts have been molded over time and if anyone is the same person they were mentally five years ago. It seems almost impossible to me now, but I've still got time to think it over.

"If you're not a liberal when you're 25, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative by the time you're 35, you have no brain."
- Winston Churchill

|:

<3

I Love This

UNFORGIVABLE

Twisting and turning
it was clear, you were bleeding

They looked away

Tears in your eyes
Fear just in time
arise

As they looked away

Hoping To Realize why it has to be this way
Never to realize that it has to be this way

They Looked away

Pride and promise;
An evaluation is all but needed,
unjust,
far away

Raise the Mugs, raise the torches
were no longer roaches
not today

Tomorrow is hours away
As They looked away

apprehension

As of late pretty much everyone has been a dick.
WTF is going on?

I walked home in the pouring rain today for the first time in a while.
I remembered during this time that I used to love going out whenever it would rain and embracing it as it fell into my eyes, making them sore and red.








I'm not cool anymore
):



______________________________________

Where is my mind?

After a while those brief encounters
just really couldn't last
Used to smile when I,
Used to see you smile and,
hear your subtle laughs
Now I cant stand to think the name
Your name, is not the same

Translucence

Such a mystery
Like an invisible wall
Such said destiny
But we don't believe at all
Smile, and look
look the other way
look for faux fixations
and dreams behind the fog
The closest things are the hardest to see
And the farther away they seem
All along you sang a song
but dare not sing near me
So afraid and I know not why
Maybe its because
You Believed

_____________________________


The only thing that scares you is truth
You FUCKING LYING SCUM

Existence

Filled with anxiety
Thinking...
You could be a little nicer
Heed the warning, a storm is coming
And its unlikely, That I'll be dead
Can't say the same for you, I always knew this day would come
I turned around and saw your frown
That was the first sign

I saw observe and report
Pretty damn funny
Seth rogen was great